Grandlittles

Staying Positive

I try to look "on the bright side" of things.  It's the only way I can survive sometimes.  When things look dark and hopeless.  That's when I pray the hardest .... for peace .... for comfort.  I pray for understanding.  I pray to be able to make others lives easier.  To make things better.  I pray to make a difference.  In some small way.  No one is harder on me than me.  I "take my own inventory" daily. All I want is to be the best wife, mom, daughter etc ... that I can be. Most days I fall short.  But everyday, I get up and try to do better ... be better. 

When You Feel Less Than

Don't forget you have value.  Your experiences, your faults as well as your talents. We all do things we are not proud of.  Things we wish we would have done differently or are even ashamed of.  Everyone has a past.  The most generous, forgiving, most courageous people are those that have spent time in the refiner's fire.  Those are my people.

This man ..... He is the best thing to happen to me.  We have been through so much.  Caused eachother heartache, forgiven and recommitted to eachother.  Taken eachother for granted and realized how much we love eachother.  He is my home, my safe pace.  He is the my other half, my best friend and my love.  I pray, daily, for his happiness and his safety.  I want him to know how much I love him. I don't want to leave things unsaid, or neglect to tell him I love him and he is the only thing I want and need.  I thank God everyday for him,

I used to think that things were .... black or white ..... right or wrong ... while that is true to a point; there are so many variables.  Often we are talking about people and people are not perfect.  Each is unique as are their experiences, their minds, their hearts and souls.  It's a fact that we are bound by laws that dictate the consequences of actions; whether it be good or bad.  It's unfair to label all people good or bad.  We spend so much time on our proverbial "high horse" that we look down on people that are struggling.  We all sin and we all "sin differently".  It's how we pick ourselves up from our low points that matter.  Not all of us sin in such a way that we break laws of society.  Some sin and are good at hiding it or lying their way out of it. Some are called to pay the consequences of their actions.  None of us will be free from judgement in the next life.  

I work in law enforcement.  I have become somewhat jaded.  I see the worst in people.  It makes it hard to find the good sometimes.  I received a wake up call recently in my own family.  Yes, there are some people who do things that are evil, self serving, and manipulative.  But most are people are good.  Most have good hearts but have done something that requires them to pay consequences. They "pay for their crimes".  Sometimes that involves legal channels. Sometimes it involves taking care of things spiritually.  We don't have the right to judge or to punish people.  That is not our job.  I have seen the heartache of people who are trying to "find their way back".  I have seen other's find joy in keeping others down, by gossipping and bringing up past mistakes.  I have even been guilty of this, as I am no where near perfect.  I need to do better.  And I try every day.  It's a challenge to seperate this from the person I have to be to do the job I do. It's my job to approach situations with a bit of suspicion while gathering information from a caller.  I have to have empathy ... but not so much that I get "pulled into" a situation.

There is a picture and a quote that keep coming to mind .... "We are all just walking eachother home" 

Time

3 years have passed.  Many happy memories and many heart breaking memories.  More than ever I see how families are under attack by the adversary.  So many times we are brought to our knees.  Tears and heart ache.  Blessings in disguise sometimes.  Reminders about what matters.